Nom de shoe, part II

Naturalizer, though, isn’t content to merely give its shoes random names. Many of their excellent, comfortable, long-lasting offerings have names that are not only pointless, but downright misguided. Is there anything, for example, either flowery or willowy about these?

“Cupid” certainly speaks of romance:

It’s a very practical shoe if you’re going to be flying about all day shooting people with the arrows of blind eroticism. And what could evoke madcap French amour, perhaps in the style of Audrey Tatou, quite like this lovely “Follie”?

Ceci n’est-ce pas folie, c’est tres sensible. And here’s “Levity”:

Maybe the joke works better in red?

No.

Women want exactly two things about themselves to be voluminous. One is our hair. The other is our bust. Neither are our shoes.

And we do not want anything to be tearful, let alone a thong sandal embellished with pointy things:

Tearful? Is that a good name for any product, except perhaps actual artificial tears?

But this–this is the absolute best:

Yes, people, Naturalizer Shoes apparently named their closest equivalent to a f-me pump after Madeleine Albright, the first female Secretary of State. Because she’s powerful, self-confident, and exactly how I want to look when I go clubbing.

Filed under Uncategorized | Comment (0)