What are your plans now that you have your master’s degree? asked by anyone in a 500 mile radius.

Ask the question enough times and I go thermonuclear.

After graduating from high school I hated being asked what my ‘plans’ were and talking about college. Only because that was the only topic everyone and their brother wanted to talk to me about.

These days it’s questions about when my husband of about a year and a half and I are planning on having children. It annoys me for similar reasons.

Not a question, but a statement proffered over and over and over at a memorial service for my mother, until I feared I was going to slap the next person who said:

“She was the most non-judgemental person I’ve ever known.”

The irony being my mother was a person of exquisite judgement. Her social skills were as finely honed as her intellect, though, and as delicately wielded.

I guess I think etiquette CAN be a sharp instrument, perhaps in a martial-artsy kind of way.

I really hate “what’s going on?” or “what’s happening?” used as a greeting — especially when said in passing. I’m always tempted to start in on a long soliloquy about everything that IS going on, but the person asking is usually someone I’m passing in a hallway or on the sidewalk, and they’re not stopping for an answer.

If the meaningless nicety is “how are you?” or “how’s it going?” you can at least answer with a grammatically consistent, “great, thanks,” or “ugh, don’t ask!” — but there’s no quick answer to “what’s going on?” except “nothing,” which makes you seem like a total loser, or “everything!” which makes you seem a bit off…

Ajay–nunchucks are blunt instruments, too, but they can be wielded very delicately!

I’m enchanted with the notion of this bit of dialogue:

Person X: “Your mother was the most non-judgemental person I’ve ever known.”
Ajay: “No, she was just supremely tactful.”
Person X: (suddenly reinterprets every conversation s/he has ever had with Ajay’s mother).

Question to me regarding my stay-at-home dad of a husband:

“So, when is Joe going to get a job?”

Because taking care of our child, grocery shopping, housecleaning, laundry, cooking, and homework-helping clearly aren’t work.

Usually asked by an older woman who was a stay at home mom herself. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Exactly, Robin! It’s scary how you plucked that etiquette ninja image from a muddled post (bows).

I despise trying to answer “So, where are you from?” I am not sure what the question asker means most of the time. I grew up in two states, and have lived in three since then. I am not a military brat. I don’t blame the questioner for my annoyance, though.

You and me both, bluemoose! I lived in a bunch of different places before I was 10, none of which were the “home town” of my parents, then lived in the same city in two different states. (Kansas City)

I dislike it when people come up to me and ask, “You look sad. What’s wrong?” There’s usually nothing wrong; I’m just not smiling.

I also get irritated when people call me skinny, and offended when they call me overweight. They mean it as some sort of compliment, but I am perfectly average and not even straddling the border of being underweight/average.

I think both of those comments are rude, Scott.

I agree with Scott – I can’t stand it when people ask me what’s wrong and tell me to “Smile!” This usually happens at work with this one obnoxious guy whose name I don’t even know. I’m not smiling because I’m focused on my work, thinking about things I need to do, and generally not thrilled with being at my job. It’s work, not Mr. Happy-Fun’s Smiley Time.

[...] Certainly PeaceBang’s two examples are distinctly rude, but as we’ve been discussing, not every question that stomps your TANG is necessarily inappropriate. And some inappropriate questions and comments [...]

“‘So, where are you from?’ I am not sure what the question asker means most of the time.”

Translation: We don’t know each other and I would like to engage you in some pleasant conversation and that’s about the most innocuous question I can ask because I don’t want to talk about politics, sex or religion with you. I don’t want to ask about your kids in case you are trying desperately to get pregnant, I don’t want to ask about your husband because what if you are a lesbian, and I don’t want to ask about your job because what if you just got laid off or because I don’t want to look like I am trying to place you socially and economically.

I just want an easy, inoffensive conversation starter.