Here is a fascinating letter I got shortly before Mind over Manners was published, from an advance reader who called himself a “case study” for the book:

I have spent the last 30 years as a practicing/lapsed/practicing/lapsed Hare Krishna, and while I haven’t told more than 6-7 people that, in the 13 years I have lived in [State], I have found that many people take great offense at the restrictions and prohibitions that I am obligated to disclose in the workplace, volunteering, etc.

None of them have any idea of why I attempt to maintain the restrictions, but that doesn’t stop them from wildly speculating:

“He rides a bicycle instead of driving a car because he lost his license” (not because it is healthy)
“It must because he is an alcoholic, did you know he refuses to go to company get-togethers if alcohol is served”
“I think my neighbor is a racist who doesn’t like black people; why else won’t he come over for barbeque and beer and sports talk?”
“And he doesn’t mind working on Christian holidays….how are we ever going to discourage our company from working on holidays if HE does?” And on and on and on………

I am beginning to think that wearing my chosen religion on my sleeve, on the bookshelf in my cubicle, on the teeshirt under my work clothes may have been the correct choice, because as it stands, I have left a wake of people that are completely convinced I don’t like them for the color of their skin, because they are the boss, because of…….. Anything but the simple and correct understanding which is that everyone is allowed to decide what they eat, what they drink, who they associate with, and until a behavior rises to the level of insult, hostility, violence, etc., the practitioner owes no one an apology or an explanation.

I recently answered a Craigslist ad, when I arrived at the person’s house; he was doing yard work in a leather kilt. I didn’t ask, he didn’t tell. That behavior was easy for me, because of all my memories of being rudely interrogated for behaviors that aren’t illegal, didn’t put anyone at risk, and weren’t anyone’s business.

My response to come shortly. Keeping comments closed for now but I’ll open them up after I’ve posted my thoughts.