Comments on: Response to “Letter from a Hare Krishna” http://robinabrahams.com/2009/06/24/response-to-letter-from-a-hare-krishna/ Mon, 20 Feb 2012 03:12:06 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 By: Anita http://robinabrahams.com/2009/06/24/response-to-letter-from-a-hare-krishna/comment-page-1/#comment-168 Anita Fri, 26 Jun 2009 15:20:26 +0000 http://robinabrahams.com/?p=480#comment-168 Most of us like to know the "dirty" details of people, especially when they produce entertaining/disconcerting behavior. Not explaining weird behavior (especially when asked) is going to drive people wild with curiosity. This may or may not be a good thing - you could think of it as justifiable revenge, and occasionally do things that defy all rational explanation to see who cracks first. Alternately, you could explain. "I have dietary restrictions" is fairly safe and neutral. Be sure you're giving the right people a heads up early enough so that your behaviors aren't adding social stressors to the situation. I regularly organize lunch meetings, and while I ask people to give me their food restrictions/pleasures, many won't inform me until the day of that they're a practicing vegan, have celiac disease, and are seriously allergic to peanuts. This not only makes lunch awkward with their colleagues (since they may not be able to eat at all), but also strains office relations with me (as I have no desire to run around trying to find a salad without cheese or croutons or been anywhere near the satay.) If you are doing this (showing up to an office Christmas party and eating/drinking nothing), your behavior escalates from curious to potentially hostile, as it signals that you aren't willing to break bread with folks, and that's a major social signal. Most of us like to know the “dirty” details of people, especially when they produce entertaining/disconcerting behavior. Not explaining weird behavior (especially when asked) is going to drive people wild with curiosity. This may or may not be a good thing – you could think of it as justifiable revenge, and occasionally do things that defy all rational explanation to see who cracks first.
Alternately, you could explain. “I have dietary restrictions” is fairly safe and neutral.
Be sure you’re giving the right people a heads up early enough so that your behaviors aren’t adding social stressors to the situation. I regularly organize lunch meetings, and while I ask people to give me their food restrictions/pleasures, many won’t inform me until the day of that they’re a practicing vegan, have celiac disease, and are seriously allergic to peanuts. This not only makes lunch awkward with their colleagues (since they may not be able to eat at all), but also strains office relations with me (as I have no desire to run around trying to find a salad without cheese or croutons or been anywhere near the satay.) If you are doing this (showing up to an office Christmas party and eating/drinking nothing), your behavior escalates from curious to potentially hostile, as it signals that you aren’t willing to break bread with folks, and that’s a major social signal.

]]> By: veronica http://robinabrahams.com/2009/06/24/response-to-letter-from-a-hare-krishna/comment-page-1/#comment-160 veronica Thu, 25 Jun 2009 14:40:53 +0000 http://robinabrahams.com/?p=480#comment-160 Perhaps I'm waaaaaaaaaaay too young but I don't know what Hare Krishna is (other than a punch line in the Muppet Movie). It's not like it was one of the belief systems covered in my Intro to Theology class. Perhaps the people he encounters suffer from the same problem I do. He could use this as an educational moment! Believe me, there are many a time I've had to correct misconceptions about Catholicism. Other than that, people invent stories to cover their gaps in understanding Perhaps I’m waaaaaaaaaaay too young but I don’t know what Hare Krishna is (other than a punch line in the Muppet Movie). It’s not like it was one of the belief systems covered in my Intro to Theology class. Perhaps the people he encounters suffer from the same problem I do. He could use this as an educational moment! Believe me, there are many a time I’ve had to correct misconceptions about Catholicism. Other than that, people invent stories to cover their gaps in understanding

]]> By: magicbean http://robinabrahams.com/2009/06/24/response-to-letter-from-a-hare-krishna/comment-page-1/#comment-159 magicbean Thu, 25 Jun 2009 10:35:12 +0000 http://robinabrahams.com/?p=480#comment-159 If you're going to be non-conforming about something as personal and public as religion or food, you're going to be a touchstone for people's insecurities and nervousness. It makes *them* uncomfortable, so you get pegged as the source of the problem. Causing people to consider re-assumptions can be a very unpleasant business. It's part of the challenge of being different. HK might think of it as a spiritual challenge. I've sat some 10 day silent meditation retreats, I have actually experienced people getting angry at me about it. "That's just useless, I can't believe people do stupid things like that." Which has zero to do with my experience, my reasons, or anything except the angry person's internalized fear of silence and stillness. Or resentment at a lazy friend. Or whatever. Who knows. But it's got nothing to do with me or meditation. PS Given my experience of sitting still for 10 days, I bet stone-age life was not so boring and monotonous as we think. If you’re going to be non-conforming about something as personal and public as religion or food, you’re going to be a touchstone for people’s insecurities and nervousness. It makes *them* uncomfortable, so you get pegged as the source of the problem. Causing people to consider re-assumptions can be a very unpleasant business. It’s part of the challenge of being different. HK might think of it as a spiritual challenge.

I’ve sat some 10 day silent meditation retreats, I have actually experienced people getting angry at me about it. “That’s just useless, I can’t believe people do stupid things like that.” Which has zero to do with my experience, my reasons, or anything except the angry person’s internalized fear of silence and stillness. Or resentment at a lazy friend. Or whatever. Who knows. But it’s got nothing to do with me or meditation.

PS Given my experience of sitting still for 10 days, I bet stone-age life was not so boring and monotonous as we think.

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