UPDATE: Voting is now closed, and the winner is JDS for “Waiting for Gourdot, It’s True.” Congrats! JDS, please e-mail me for details of how to get your tickets to Tru Grace. And thanks to all who entered!

Good job on the holiday song parodies, folks! It took a while to get going, but there were some good entries, with a lot of topical humor. Here are the top five for you to vote on:

“Thumbsy the T-man” by WXB

Using my cellphone
Driving MBTA trains
Braking here and there, so you’d best beware
Or you’ll fly through window panes

Chorus: Bumpity-bump-bump, Bumpity-bump-bump
Look at my train go
Bumpity-bump-bump, Bumpity-bump-bump
Running off into the snow)

Running through stoplights
Sending jokes by SMS
And they won’t catch me if I don’t hit trees
‘Cuz the T’s a stinkin’ mess

I won’t get fired
Even if I text and drive
But if some wise St. Nick snaps a cell-phone pic
My career will take a dive

“Waiting For Gourdot, It’s True” by JDS

(To the tune of Foreigner’s “Waiting for a Girl Like You,” comparing the waiting of Linus for the Great Pumpkin to Samuel Beckett’s “Waiting for Godot.” The song is abridged, and so is the explanation. But I did like how surreal this was, and that it was an alternative to Christmas songs):

So long
I’ve been looking so hard, I’ve been waiting so long

Sometimes I don’t know what I would do
If The Great Pumpkin jumped and said “BOO!”

When will Pumpkin come?
When will Pumpkin come?

Halloween Night, so warm and still
I need to know, is my mind just ill?

Maybe I’m wrong
It would kill me if I’ve been wrong all along
This pumpkin patch has hurt me before
This time, I hope to see more

I’ve been waiting
For Gourdot, it’s true
To rise up in the night

I’ve been waiting
For Gourdot, it’s true
To spread love and delight

I’ve been waiting
For Pumpkin-news
To make me feel I’m right

Yeah, waiting
For Gourdot, it’s true
Ev’ry Halloween night

“Tight Christmas 2″ by MAH

I’m dreaming of a Flush Christmas
Just like the ones I use to know.
Where the gold cards glisten,
And boutiques listen,
To hear us ringing up the dough.

I’m thinking it’s a tight Christmas
Just because I’m unemployed.
And the fees I’m fetching,
On payments I’m missing,
Has left my credit score destroyed.

I’m scheming for a light Christmas
With every lender I approach.
May my thrift shop finds be designer like Coach,
And secondhand clothing be not gauche.

“I Think Daddy Kidnapped Santa Claus” by BobP

I think Daddy kidnapped Santa Claus
Just to steal that old guy’s lifetime gig

Pop’s needed work for months
He’s unemployed, feels like a dunce
You’d never guess that he was head
Of General Motors once

But now he’d kill to score that seasonal job
With perks the UAW couldn’t match
And he’d trade his Escalade
To zip around in a really sweet sleigh
I’m sure Daddy kidnapped Santa Claus!

…and finally, the last entry, which was a nice year-end roundup:

“Have Yourself a Hopeful Little Christmas” by Linda Courtemanche

Have yourself a hopeful little Christmas,
With Barack in charge –
His to-do list
Makes Santa’s seem far from large!

Have yourself a healthy little Christmas…
Swine flu, go away!
Pass health care
That doesn’t make us overpay!

We remember the golden days,
Days with MJ, Farrah,Ted –
Now it’s Sonia up on the Court,
And more Mayor M. ahead!

Now next year
the Sox will beat the Yankees,
if the Fates allow…
Hang Youk’s action figure on the highest bough…
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now!

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Voting will be open until 5pm on Friday, November 29, and the winner will be announced and contacted then. Thank you for your entries, everyone!

This post will run at the top until Friday; new content will be below.

Finally, this isn’t eligible for the contest, but a special thanks to kmd123, for this “thinly disguised shameless attempt to butter up Miss Conduct”:

In the eighth day of ChannuKwanzaaMasYear, Ms. Conduct gave to me
Eight nosy neighbors
Seven noisy cubicle-mates
Six tasteful hostess gifts
Five rude retorts
Four dog-owning guests
Three sneezing atheists
Two meddling in-laws
And a year’s worth of great advice!

kmd123 couldn’t make it up to twelve; may I suggest “Twelve cell phones ringing, eleven store clerks snarking, ten chuggers guilting, nine noisy iPods …”?