Why I write about style
The fashion stuff I write about — it’s not only because I enjoy it. I truly do believe this stuff matters. As I wrote here a few years ago, your clothing choices communicate who you are to other people, whether you want them to or not, so you may as well take control of that message.
PeaceBang has a particularly eloquent post about the importance of image today on Beauty Tips for Ministers. She’s writing about female clergy, but what she says can apply to everyone, of any profession or gender:
Drab, aggressively sexless, sartorially clueless people in any profession make a statement by their very presence, and that statement is not a good one. Some of the non-verbal statements such appearance makes are:
1. I do not want anyone to look at me.
2. I don’t deserve attention; being noticed is something I am not prepared to accept and a responsibility I do not want.
3. I am harmless; in fact, I am passive. The world is happening around me and I hope to be invisible in it.
That’s only the first three. There’s more. Go read.
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I love to walk, and I have recovered from knee problems,and I live in a city so don’t drive. The first thing I usually find in an article saying women should dress better is a sneer about “comfortable shoes”. If I’m not wearing comfortable shoes I get panicky at the thought of going down the stairs to get to the street. As far as I can tell, this need to be able to use my feet excludes me from all hope of stylishness and means I’m stuck in the “harmless”, “passive”, and “invisible”.
I’ve tried to gear myself up to dress better, but I always run right into this.
And that, Jill, is why I prefer style blogs written by actual women! I bet if you wrote in to any of the bloggers I mentioned in this post:
http://robinabrahams.com/2009/11/fashion-blog-finds/
… they’d be delighted to help you figure out how to find a style that works with your need for sturdy shoes. As I mentioned in that post, I live la vida locomotion, too — I have a 1.5 mile walk to work, and I also have back problems that make high heels unadvisable. (I can get away with them once in a great while, but not as a regular thing.) Happily, we’re in a good time for stylish flats: pretty ballerina flats for parties; clogs for everyday (and even work, depending on your workplace); “athleisure” for play and walking; low- or no-heeled boots.
High heels are silly and harmful to the body, and I seriously doubt any fashion magazine would ever admit that. High heels, for me, are the equivalent of a chocolate martini — something to be indulged in once in a great while, but not an “everyday food.” There are plenty of comfortable, professional, feminine-looking shoes out there.
And regarding PeaceBang’s post, the good Rev. PB is not preaching the gospel of St. Mahnolo! Check out some of her shoe options — not all suited to long walks, but all look sturdy, long-lasting, and stylish:
http://beautytipsforministers.com/category/womens-clothing/shoes/
I commute from New Hampshire into Boston every day via a fairly insane combination of driving, train, subway, and walking. My wardrobe has to be practical, functional, professional, and able to withstand the rigors of pretty much any wicked brew of New England weather.
On top of all that, my office is usually 20 degrees colder than outside in summer, and 20 degress hotter than outside in winter.
This doesn’t mean I have to look like a frump.
1. Layers are your friend.
2. A nicely-fitting pair of tailored trousers in a neutral color can be paired with an infinite variety of tops.
3. “Office shoes” can be carried in bags.
4. There are amazing boots, sneakers, and clogs that can be paired with outerwear for a smart look in any season.
5. A good haircut (one that flatters the face and can be styled with relative ease) is worth its weight in gold.
–EA Week
Hello Robin, I’m so sorry to be a naysayer, but I posted my comment _after_ looking at the PeaceBang site, where every time I see a picture of a pair of shoes that looks like something I could walk in, I get excited, then read the text and it’s her saying “FRUMPY”. The page about Mary Janes was the worst. You meant it to be encouraging, but I’m sorry to say it’s been one of the most discouraging sites! PeaceBang loves heels, and although she says in words that it’s possible to wear stylish flats, all the shoes she coos about are heels I can only imagine wearing while sitting down — like I would take them off to walk across the room.
Even searching for stylish low-heeled shoes brings up a promising-looking page (http://shoes.about.com/od/womens_shoes/tp/low_heels.htm). I looked at every shoe linked to on that page, and they do indeed have low heels — but low heels that have only a few square millimeters on the floor.
I can wear wide heels an inch or so high. Maybe I should look at having some shoes made for me. I haven’t worn a skirt in years because they look silly with my walking shoes.
Ballet flats are looking more promising (more childish than I would prefer, but I don’t see a way around that).
I can’t do “kitten heels” either. You know how kittens walk? That’s how I walk in “kitten heels.” But dang, girl, answers are out there. Danskos in funky prints (I’ve got a beautiful fake-croc pair)? Boots? Wedges?
And neither PB nor I are the Objective All-Knowing Goddess of Shoes, you know. One person’s “dowdy” is another person’s “funky.” It all depends on what you do with it. When the ConductMom was here we were playing wardrobe show-and-tell (where do you think I get it from?) and she said one of my dresses looked “like an old-lady dress.” “Old-lady on the hanger, sexy librarian on me, Mom,” I replied.
Ah, yes, that sounds like a conversation I had with a friend when I was trying a few years ago to find a way into the style thing (obviously that process is taking me a while!). I told her that I had repeatedly had the experience of walking around looking at people’s shoes, and when I saw shoes I really wanted to wear and would look up and find that the woman wearing them was a nun (I was spending a lot of time in Rome at the time, but I managed to find the nuns in other places as well). My friend told me that it’s perfectly possible to create an interesting look around nun shoes! So maybe it would be “nun shoes on a nun, quirky sexy on me” or something.
I don’t think PB would approve, but my goal isn’t to wear things she likes. :)