Comments on: Career advice and the pursuit of happiness

By: Kate

Kate — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 15:05:06 +0000

My husband and I talk about this all the time! Also its antipode, the idea that you shouldn’t do things that you do not have a natural talent or gift for doing. How boring the world would be (and how unhappy I would be at any of the other jobs I had before I went back to school) if that were true! One of the most constructive experiences of my life was going back to school for science and NOT being instantly good at it, having to struggle and wrestle with the material — and how victorious I felt when it worked! Taking risks, hard work and dedication are celebrated sometimes in American culture via sports movies, but how rarely do we receive the message that it’s ok to turn your back on something that comes easily.

By: mms

mms — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 23:51:08 +0000

Speaking from the other side of the career path–retirement–many of my friends and family, I among them, have time to return now to the things we loved doing when we were younger, but could not figure out how to turn into jobs that would really pay the rent and fund college educations for our children. Some are in fine arts, and actually selling pieces from time to time. Others are political activists or doing volunteer work that serves their communities. Some of us retired early just because we wanted a lot more time to express our creative impulses.

Especially if there are multiple things that you love, and I did love my work for many years, you may very well have more than one chance at them.

By: delia

delia — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 17:56:48 +0000

Robin, i basically lit up when i read this sentence, “Choose one where you like the boring parts.”

i couldn’t agree more. when i was looking at colleges, there was a lot of pressure for me to be an engineer. i’m a female math/science geek who competetively built robots for three years, so it was decided by everyone who knew me that if i did anything else i would be “throwing it all away.”

every engineering school i looked at had amazing advanced classes but the absolute worst classes for the first 2-3 years. people kept telling me that that’s simply part of life; everyone hates the requirements.

then, on a whim, i checked the box next to “international affairs” and went to an info session. every single requirement they mentioned sounded amazing. i’ve never felt like anything was boring or required because i’ve enjoyed every second of it.

sure, i could’ve put up with 3 years of boring engineering classes, but why do that when instead i love every minute of all my international affairs classes?

By: veronica

veronica — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:34:03 +0000

Robin:
The advantage to the job I hate, is that I spend so much time helping other people find jobs and figure out what they like/don’t like, I am learning what parts of the job I can deal with and which ones I absolutely can’t.

From now on, urine analyses are a deal breaker along with too much unstructured time.

By: Robin

Robin — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 22:50:30 +0000

Amy R., I too could go the rest of my life quite happily without ever hearing anyone refer to their body as their “instrument” again. Although now that I’m getting back into theater as a board member, occasional writer, and general patroness of the arts (which sounds like I should have a lot more money than I do) I find how much I’ve really missed hanging with theater folk. It’s such a weird business to be in, though, when you have to go from competing like hell to win a role away from someone one day, and the next you’re in show with them and you have to be all vulnerability and honesty. My place in the theater world now is very comfortable; Actors talk about Acting in a different way to people like me than they do to other actors.

Veronica, I’m sorry. That sounds horrible. I hope you can find something better soon. Responsibility without power is one of the most crazy-making things in the world.

By: bluemoose

bluemoose — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 20:56:16 +0000

Oh, Amy R., I understand your snarky caps completely. I loved my theatre days — high school and college, but I knew I didn’t have the drive to purusue that as a career.

I personally always hated being told what I should do. Still do. I made a career out of a complete accident, and while I do absolutely hate some of the busy work, there are things that make up for it nearly every day. And you have to file at nearly all jobs (especiallly if you’re inclined to create additional filing systems regularly like me.)

By: JoGeek

JoGeek — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 18:54:08 +0000

As a kid, I was always jealous of friends who had that one thing they did extremely well. It seemed like it simplified their choices for them. Of COURSE that one would be a dancer; she was born to it and it was her primary skill. OBVIOUSLY that one would be a scientist, that other a writer, etc. Part of the problem of being able to do so many things very well is that ultimately it’s extremely difficult to settle on one to the exclusion of all others.

My brain is in a sinusitis fog so I can’t recall the name, but there was an author who wrote about how truly successful (i.e. top of their profession) people are those with single competencies. They live and breathe one thing that becomes the top priority in their lives. Anyone familiar with it?

By: Amy R.

Amy R. — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 18:45:47 +0000

I’ve often been told I should open a restaurant. Last Saturday, I spent 6+ hours preparing a four course meal for my boyfriend and four friends out of Mastering the Art of French Cooking. If I cooked for a living, I would not have gotten any joy from that. It’s bad enough when work feels like work. Something you love should not start to feel like work.

Also, I pursued acting in high school and college and often got the “if you’ll be happy doing anything else, do that instead” talk. There was also “if you realize you’d rather be somewhere else (than rehearsal), then go.” It sounds harsh and trite, but the day I realized that I did not want to be in acting class listening to Actors talk about Acting, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I changed my major the next day, looked back just once to be sure, and moved on. Sometimes I miss performing. I do not miss the cattiness, being told to join Weight Watchers, and listening to Actors talk about Acting. (Intentional caps — I know I’m being snarky but surely someone will know what I mean.)

By: veronica

veronica — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 16:41:48 +0000

I would LOVE a career where I could eat, sleep and breathe it for all the RIGHT reasons, and not the wrong ones. I hate not being able to sleep at night because the residents in the transitional housing facility I work at 12 hours a week are all getting on each others nerves. I hate that because I spend 23 hours a week trying to find OTHER people jobs, I have become disillusioned in my own job search.

I can’t wait for the economy to improve a little and I am able to find a job that fits in with my career goals, instead of one that (barely) pays the bills.