Ineffective techniques

I love how whenever Milo chases a squirrel up a tree (and he’s not allowed to chase squirrels unless there is a tree, fence, or pole they can get to) he runs around the base of the tree, barking and barking as though that is going to make the squirrel come back down.

It’s like those guys who will yell at you on the street, “Hey, baby, wanna take a ride in my car?” and when you ignore them, shout, “Bitch, you ain’t that fine anyway!”

The squirrels never fall for it. Neither do the women.

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7 Responses to Ineffective techniques

  1. veronica says:

    My dog does the same thing, but he’s part coonhound. So when he sits at the base of the tree barking, he’s saying “look master now you can shoot him and we can make a hat out of him”….that’s when the shepherd in him isnt herding cats. And in his old age, he prefers to herd cats and small children.

  2. Robin says:

    And as “Parks & Recreation” has taught us, wearing a raccoon hat can be an effective pickup technique:

    … but only if you’re Ron F*cking Swanson.

  3. EA Week says:

    Endless hours of watching Animal Planet have taught me that terriers bark like crazy when they’ve “cornered” a rodent to let their human know.

    Ours mostly does this to let us know she’s cornered the cat… the barks often turning to yelps when she takes five claws across the nose. And yet she persists in her efforts to corner the cat. I’m amazed she a nose left.

  4. Shulamuth says:

    Ah, the triumph of instinct over experience.

    The grandpuppy has yet to figure out that there is a direct relationship between trying to corner a skunk and getting a B.A.T.H. (which he hates). You’d think that after 9 years and 11 or so sprayings he’d catch on, but noooooo!

  5. diane says:

    Portland, Oregon’s metro mass transit authority is raising rates and cutting service yet again — “ridership is down because of the recession.” Yeah, rate hikes and service cuts are the way to increase ridership.

    Walking in the door, and the first thing you hear from the parents (and what you pretty much hear in some form all day long) is “So, you finally found time in your busy schedule to visit your family. We are so honored.” Yeah, that’s gonna make me visit more often.

  6. MelissaJane says:

    EA Week: When I brought my Airedale puppy home at 11 weeks or so, it took my cat about 10 seconds to establish who was going to be Alpha Companion Animal in our house. A few days later I took Filbert for his new-baby vet visit, and the vet said, hey, what’s the little spot on his nose? Gosh, I said, looks like paint, we’ve been doing a little painting… Nope, said vet, it’s a cat claw.

    Shulamuth: A friend of mine says that dogs have one of two reactions to being sprayed by a skunk: Eek, I’m stayin’ away from the stripey thing! or Ooooo, I’m gonna get me that stripey thing NEXT TIME! Sadly, the second seems more common.

    And yeah, Diane, Portland’s reaction reminds me of one of the most common things companies cut when times are tight: marketing. Because sure, we need to encourage fewer sales of our products and services when they’re already down.

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