It’s the only possible explanation for last night’s episode of “Lost.” Apparently, Hugo Reyes has one consistent character trait, and one only: he is fat. Or so the writers seem to think.

Spoilers below the break:

So in the alternative universe, everyone is in different circumstances, yet fundamentally, in most ways, the same. Jack is a spinal surgeon with a bad relationship with his gifted son. Jin and Sun are having an illicit affair instead of a bad marriage. Locke and Ben are dedicated, but frustrated and scheming, high school teachers. Sawyer and Miles are a wackily mismatched team of detectives.

And Hurley is the CEO of a worldwide fast-food empire.

Yes, Hurley, a likable character with good people skills, no known ambition, virtually no formal education, and a vocabulary that consists primarily of the word “dude.” I work at Harvard Business School, I’ve studied CEOs and met some, and this is not what they are like. Maybe, in the Alternaverse, Hurley still won the lottery, bought the franchises, and got lucky enough to hire good people to manage them for him and take care of his financial portfolio. So he could be just a figurehead who does the commercials and gives money away to worthy organizations.

But even in the Alternaverse, Hurley can’t meet women. “Look at me,” he says. Do the writers honestly believe that a philanthropic billionaire with a gentle and humorous personality would have a hard time finding a woman to love him because he’s fat? He might have a hard time trusting that a woman would love him for himself and not his money, but I don’t think he’d be so desperate that he’d get stood up for a blind date at “Spanish Johnny’s.”

Jorge Garcia, at least, knows better. Mr. Garcia has a girlfriend, and a darned cute one at that.

Dear Television:

Fat people are lovable. Fat people have sex. Fat people have boyfriends and girlfriends and wives and husbands who themselves may or may not be fat.

Also, fat CEOs who eat when they’re depressed probably don’t do it in their own fast-food chains. Bad for the business image.

Being fat is not a character trait. Please stop letting fat make you stupid, Television.

Thank you,

Robin

P.S. Oh, you know what else a fat rich person would never, ever do? Fly coach, morons.

I love her prediction (on her blog) for what will be in the comments section of the story:

… some people passionately wishing me ill by some fat-related doom; some people passively-but-ominously observing that while they don’t actively wish me fat-related doom, fat-related doom is coming for me nonetheless; some people wondering how the Globe can possibly justify publishing anything not on the subject of unemployment, the economy, and/or local sports right now in These Troubled Times, and bemoaning this evidence of irresponsible journalism; and some people exasperatedly opining that if SOME people can’t handle a little snow during a New England winter, then SOME people should move south and shut the hell up about it.

Heh. It’s funny ’cause it’s true.

If you have a strong “Yeah, but–” reaction to that, I understand. Read this, and the links here. Fat Acceptance is something that took me a long time to come to–it goes against almost every message we get in our society. Heck, I still haven’t made that final leap of accepting my own imperfect body for what it is. Still working on that one. But this is a movement that makes sense. Deep, deep sense. Check it out.

We’ve been talking a lot the last two weeks about the wrongs of judging people by the color of their skin. Judging them by the shape of it is just as bad.

I’m open to comments on this post, but please don’t hit me with elementary arguments or ask me FA 101 questions, okay? That’s why I put the links up. There are people who write and research and think about this stuff on a much deeper level than I do, so no point re-inventing the wheel here. (I mean, even re-inventing the wheel has already been done–see item #8!)